Mirror, Mirror On the Wall

Recently I watched a TED Talk by Dr. Abigail Marsh who explored "Why some people are more altruistic than others." As a clinical psychologist, she studied extremely altruistic people, or very compassionate people. Among other things, she discovered that very compassionate people simply don't see themselves at the center of any situation. They don't view themselves as being any different than anyone else. Their common understanding is, "It's not about me." 

It reminded me of the ancient Greek myth about Narcissus. As the story goes, Narcissus was so proud he rejected those who loved him. Instead, he saw his reflection in a pool and fell in love, not realizing that it was just a self-reflection. In fact, he became so enamored with the reflection, he lost his will to live and stared at the reflection until he died.

There is an obvious difference between someone who sees themselves at the center in every situation and someone who rarely if ever see themselves at the center. The later we would call "humble." You see, humility is not thinking ill about yourself. Humility is rarely thinking about yourself at all. 

In the Christian tradition, this is not really self-sacrifice so much as it is self-forgetfulness. 

The Old Testament prophet Ezekiel pronounced an oracle of judgement against the king of Tyre. Some say this is a description of the fall of Satan, but there is no question that in the context, the power behind the throne in Tyre was the kingdom of darkness. And so there are references to the king of Tyre being in Eden, etc. After all, the self-centered human way of thinking was first introduced in the Garden by the Serpent. So, the fall of Satan is the archetypal story behind Ezekiel's prophecy (and so many of our stories).   

In Ezekiel's prophecy, the king of Tyre is enamored with the extent of his wisdom and beauty. And that was his ultimate downfall. "Your heart became proud on account of your beauty, and your corrupted your wisdom because of your splendor. So I threw you to the earth...you have come to a horrible end" (28:17, 19). When he began to spend too much time noticing his wisdom and beauty, those very qualities were corrupted, leading to his doom.

It seems like the formation of all the other character qualities of Christ assume true humility. When I notice I am patient, at that moment I cease being patient. When I notice I am compassionate, I cease being compassionate. If I take time to see how wise I am, what a servant I am, those things dissipate in my view in the mirror.

What is called for is self-forgetfulness. (Is this kind of self-forgetfulness more difficult for introverts?) When I stop seeing myself at the center, I gain a better, more helpful view of others. When "It's not about me" is more than a slogan, my life takes on a whole new level of meaning and potential fruitfulness.

As a disciple of Jesus, trying real hard to see others at the center is probably not going to work very well. What is needed is learning, by grace, to see Jesus at the center. To the extent that I see Jesus at the center, I will gain his perspective on life and my immediate circumstance, and that will include his perspective on the lives of those around me. The truth of self-forgetfulness as worship has the power to set us free!