"Not Mother?!"

At the risk of sounding “carnal” I want to admit that one of my favorite old movies is “Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.” Steve Martin plays one of the scoundrels who is occasionally called on to act mentally challenged. In one of my favorite scenes he thinks he is about to meet his mother, only to discover it is his brother’s fiancé. His response – “Not mother?!” – is a very funny (but tragic) moment. Humor aside, it leads me to wonder how many people are looking for “mother” and not really finding her.

“Motherhood” is not just a biological phenomenon – it is primarily a relational quality. There are many godly women who have never had children, who have lost their children, or who are unable to have children. That does not mean they cannot exhibit the quality of motherhood and function as godly “mothers” in the community.

The Bible has a lot to say about mothers and the relational quality of motherhood:

·         “Mother” is an important position of influence. Eve was blessed to be the mother of all the living (Genesis 3:20). Sarah was called to be the mother of nations (Genesis 17:16). Every influential family or individual has had important “mother” in their lives.

·         “Mother” is a highly respected and honored place in the community. The Law warned about attacking one’s mother (Exodus 21:15, 17; Leviticus 19:3; 20:9; Deuteronomy 21:18-20; 27:16). The wisdom of Proverbs could also be quite strong in its condemnation of those who are a “curse” to their mothers (19:26; 20:20; 30:17). In fact, Jesus repeated this warning (Matthew 15:4). It seems as though God personally takes our responses to our mothers.

·         “Mother” was considered a place of leadership and authority. The prophetess and judge Deborah was considered “a mother in Israel” (Judges 5:7). In fact, certain key cities were also called “a mother in Israel” (2 Samuel 20:19).

·         A “mother” was considered a teacher and a dispenser of wisdom in the community (Proverbs 1:8; 6:20; 31:1). Those who were wise learned to listen to the advice of their “mothers.”

·         A key element of motherhood is compassion and relational faithfulness (Isaiah 49:15). While fathers may seem distant relationally, mothers are always close by.

·         Motherhood is defined by an ability to comfort those who are in need (Isaiah 66:13). Emotional intelligence and empathy can usually be found in a “mother.”

A “mother” in the faith community called the “church” is anyone who does the will of God (Matthew 12:50). A godly woman who is a devoted follower of Jesus is a “mother” (Mark 3:34). One who hears God’s word and puts it into practice qualifies as a “mother” (Luke 8:21). Mary, the mother of Jesus, demonstrated godly qualities by pondering the truth of Jesus in her heart (Luke 2:51) and by pointing others to Jesus (John 2:5). Paul referred to Timothy’s mother and grandmother as examples of godly “mothers” (2 Timothy 1:5). Any godly, mature woman can function as a “mother” in the village of the church.

Even the apostle Paul had godly women who functioned as “mothers” in his life. The mother of Rufus was mentioned (Romans 16:13). Paul also referred to the “mothering” aspects of his relationships in the church (1 Thessalonians 2:7). In fact, he instructed all the older godly women in the church to function as mothers (1 Timothy 5:2).

I think we’ve all seen girls who gave birth to children but did not exhibit the character qualities of motherhood. It seems as though a so-called “mothering instinct” is not automatic. For that reason, it’s appropriate to raise those qualities the Bible refers to as “mothering.” To honor and appreciate those qualities in the mothers God has put in our lives, acknowledging that not everyone has been blessed with a godly mother. I personally have been blessed with an excellent, godly mother who is still a blessing every day of my wife. My children have been blessed with a wonderful mother who stands in the gap for them and their children many times a day. And my grandchildren know the love of a compassion, wise, faithful mother.

It’s also important to encourage those qualities in all our women, whether they have natural children or not. We need “mothers” in our faith village. So many children in our community need “mothers.” We need to give our “mothers” permission to bless the community in the unique ways only they are able to do. And we need to embrace the “mothers” God gives us, giving thanks every day for the wonderful blessing they are in our lives.

And so, from the bottom of our hearts, giving thanks to God, we gladly say – HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!