By nature I would prefer to learn something once, get it right the first time, and then never repeat the lesson again. While as a teacher I understand the importance of repetition, I seem to have a low tolerance for it. Nevertheless, God is committed to repeating certain key lessons at the all the key points in our lives. Sometimes we forget a lesson and need to simply have it repeated. At other times we need to learn a new aspect of a lesson or even to learn it on a new level. While I really don't like circling around a mountain again, I wouldn't be doing it if my Loving Father didn't feel I needed it.
Once of the most important truths I have learned - important in Scripture, in theology, in the life of the church, in spiritual formation, and in my personal life - is the truth about authentic "community." This seems to be one of those lessons that is so important and has so many layers of profound truth it can never really be fully grasped (let alone realized) with just one time of instruction. For me, it has been necessary to return to it time and time again. So here are just a few of the things of have (re)learned about "community."
We were created for community. The Christian idea of the "Tri-unity" of God is the ultimate vision of relationship in community. It's a mystery - how is it possible to be both One and "Three"? God is all about relationship and oneness, and God created human beings to share in his nature. We were created for relationship - with God, each other, and the rest of God's good creation. Indeed, the final prayer of Jesus is that we would share in God's Oneness, "that they may be one as we are one—I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity" (John 17:22-23). The glory and purpose of God are seen for humanity to the extent that they are experiencing and living out the implications of relational oneness.
"Community" defines a quality of relationships, not conformity. It's so easy for us to institutionalize community. We tend to define community in terms of a certain model of "small group," but authentic community is only possible in the context of a certain quality of relationships. The kinds of relationships that foster community include: (1) Transparent relationships, marked by honesty and accountability; (2) Trustworthy relationships, held together by loyalty and dependability; and (3) Transformational relationships, resulting in changed lives and Kingdom witness. It's possible to attempt community with shallow, superficial relationships and experience nothing but emptiness and frustration.
Spiritual formation happens in community. All committed Jesus followers seek to become more like him, to escape self-centered sinful patterns of thinking and behavior, to reflect the heart and nature of Jesus, to be ruled by selfless, divine love and true righteousness. The question we might ask is this: What is the optimal environment for true spiritual formation to take place? Some would prefer the life of a hermit, being separate from all the human foibles and distractions that seem to slow down the process of spiritual formation. While silence and solitude are important spiritual disciplines, in the end true spiritual formation requires real heart-to-heart committed relationships with real human beings. While we can certainly get on each other's nerves, and even become very disappointed in each other, the life and grace of God flow from person to person along the "tendons" of relationships. "From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love" (Ephesians 4:16). Community is always messy, but there's no possibility of growing beyond the messiness apart from community.
Authentic community is intentional, not accidental. Unfortunately, the effect of sin is to make us fundamentally self-centered, and nothing blocks relationships like self-centeredness. Any experience of authentic community requires consistent commitment and a lot of hard work. No meaningful experience of community will ever happen accidentally. Broken, inconsistent, unfaithful relationships come more naturally to us and will happen "accidentally." Community is maintained only with diligent effort. "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace" (Ephesians 4:2-3).
Community cannot happen unless people gather. Authentic community assumes an intentional pattern of coming together. The first Jesus followers had a clear practice and pattern of corporate gathering, corporate prayer and worship, etc. In fact, the Greek word for "church," ekklesia, simply refers to those who have been called out of their homes to assemble together. It is the assembly, the corporate gathering "in Jesus' name." When the first church began to experience increasing pressure and disillusionment, some began to "neglect" this intentional gathering. Some forgot that they needed each other even more when times were tough. Some still haven't learned this lesson today. "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching" (Hebrews 10:24-25).
"Relationships trump vision." My friend and pastor, Frank Damazio, has often told the storey of how God led him to "serve the vision" of our mutual spiritual father/mentor, Dick Iverson. "Brother Dick" had a vision to establish an apostolic leadership network he would call Ministers Fellowship International, and he asked Frank to help him. Frank had a great church in Eugene, Oregon and had raised up his own leaders to plant their own local churches. When he prayed about it, the Lord clearly spoke to Frank to set aside his vision in order to serve the vision of MFI. To this day Pastor Frank's conclusion is simply this: Relationships trump vision. His vision as a church planter and leadership developer was not more important than his long relationship with Dick Iverson. That lesson has stayed with him, and with me, ever since.
You can choose your friends but you can't choose your relatives. We only have a few close, covenant relationships in this life. Those relationships are initiated by God and are sacred. Knowing who our people are and where our place is constitutes "home" for us. Our covenant brothers and sisters are family! We make a lot of friends in life but we only have so many covenant "relatives." Each one of us need to be clear about where "home" is, and then commit ourselves to that place and to those family members. All other relationships and places must then be seen from the "baseline" of our family. "Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers" (Galatians 6:10).
The church is God's Kingdom covenant community. Recently it was reported that 85 million American Christians are committed non-church goers. They are the "post-congregational" Christians, those who have intentionally separated themselves from any local congregation. Their claim is that the church hinders their relationship with God and blocks their spiritual formation. Other than the fact that this line of reasoning clearly contradicts the testimony of Scripture, the testimony of their lives does not always support their claim. If they are correct, they should now be shining examples of spiritual maturity. But how would they know when they are cut off from anyone who might challenge them or hold them accountable. Jesus was very clear when he said, "I will build my church" (Matthew 16:18). The church is the New Covenant Kingdom Community. If we cannot seem to find authentic community in the context of a local congregation, perhaps the fault is not entirely with the church. We need a new commitment to the pursuit of authentic community among our covenant brothers and sisters in a local church. Maybe we should spent focused time praying and interceding for that to become a reality in our experience.
While these lessons about community continue to provide guiding principles in my life as a Jesus-follower, I look forward to (re)learning them more and more deeply in the years ahead. After I, we were created by our Father-Creator for community!
